The Muffin Joke
by Darth KenObi-Wan
Summary: Obi-Wan, Garen, Siri and Reeft are in a bar. All are drunk and Obi-Wan has a joke to tell. It's supposed to be funny but I'm not going to tell you that it is. It's just a piece of randomness! Reviews are welcome, but I don't care. Pre-TPM! COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing, NOTHING! …

Enjoy!

The Muffin Joke!

"Ok, ok…ok. You guys hafta listen to m'joke!"

"Obi-Wan, it's taken you five minutes already." Garen was growing impatient.

"Yeah, Kenobi. Get on with it!" Where as Siri was already irritated.

"Ok! There were two muffins in a muffin. No, wait, no, in an oven." There were groans round the table. "You guys!"

"We're listening! Hurry yerself!" Reeft was nearing the end of his tether.

"Anyways! One muffin says to the other muffin, 'Do you think we're gonna get cooked?'"

"What muffins?"

Siri yelled out, "Shut it, Muln!"

This was followed by an agreement by Reeft, "Yeah, let 'im tell the joke!"

"Ok, the other muffin goes, um, umm … oh yeah! 'Woah! A talking muffin!'"

There was silence, then "That's it?"

"Yeah. That's it."

The silence regained control.

Let me know what you think! If you think it's rubbish, tell me so. If you think it's good tell me so. If you want me to do more (though I doubt any of you would, but then people do the strangest things. I'd better get back to what I was saying before I start to ramble.) tell me so!

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! People reviewed! I am amazed. Hence forth, I am continuing. In this chapter, they are slightly more drunk, so their speech may be a little hard to understand. But if you speak English then you should figure it out. If it helps, read it out loud. That's how I wrote it!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

I own squat!

On with the story!

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Silence reigned.

"Well dat wash pafe'ic," Siri had always been verbal about her opinion.

"Are you sayin' dat you didn' like m' joke? Hic!"

"Yeah. Tha's exactly wha' I'm sayin'."

Suddenly a platter of muffins appeared on the bar next to Obi-Wan. Reaching over to grab one he said, "I don't fink you should be sayin' dat." With those words said, he threw the muffin in her direction.

This caused Siri to scream, "Ah! Chinese fighting muffins!" Everyone started to grab muffins and the fight began.

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Three black eyes, one broken thumb, a trip to a med centre and fifteen minutes later, they were all sitting at their table as if nothing had happened. All except Reeft who was spending the night at the med centre.

Breaking the silence, Obi-Wan said, "Anyone got anover joke?"

"Oh! I've got one!" Garen was broken out of his thoughts by the question. "You ready?"

"Yeah! Get goin'!"

"Ok. What do a SCUD missile and Siri have in common?" Garen seemed to have forgotten that he was actually sitting between his friends, who now numbered two.

With a drunken grin, Obi-Wan answered, "Dunno."

"Wait for it. They're both offensive and inaccurate." Garen hit the ground as he was knocked unconscious by Siri.

Seeing this, Obi-Wan said quickly, "I didn't laugh!"

"I don't care! Shut up and buy me another drink!"

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In the next chapter, if I feel like it. Siri tells a joke, Obi-Wan gets bruised and Garen might regain consciousness. I don't know. You guys might never know either.

Reviews are appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello readers!

I was bored so I decided to update. Boredom is a wonderful thing. For you guys at least.

I own squat!

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One neat whiskey later, Siri was inebriated to the point of telling her own joke.

"Ok, Obi. Dere were these two guys, right?"

"Yeah."

"Don't interrupt me while I'm tellin' a joke! Wha' was I sayin'? Oh, yeah. One ov dem has a new bike. The over guy says, 'Dude where'd you get the…bike?' You following Obi?"

"Uh-huh."

"Ok. The over guy says, 'It was da strangest fink. Dis drop dead, gorgeous girl comes ridin' up to me on it. Gets off, takes off all 'er clothes and yells, "Take wha' you wan'!" So I took the bike.'"

Obi-Wan sat with a small frown of concentration until Siri lifted her hand threateningly and he started to laugh hysterically.

"Don't patronise me!" Obi-Wan hit the floor near Garen who had just regained consciousness and decided, for his better health, to stay on the floor.

Siri continued to drink the night away, waiting for her companions to regain consciousness.

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There you go the third chapter of randomness. I have no idea what the next chapter will be about. GASP! I've got it. Off to write the next chapter!

But before I do, Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Hello! I am randomly updating this because... well I could go on forever but the short reason is, I am bored.

It has been a while since I updated, I'm not sure how long, and I couldn't be bothered to find out, but I have finally updated so be happy, ok?

I own squat!

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It was silent in the Jedi Temple. Or at least it was until the sound of drunken voices floated, or rather, came tumbling down the corridor. No wait, that was the people the voices belonged to.

The three figures stumbled together, two men and a woman. One of the men was talking, "Ok. I gots another joke."

"Out with it then."

"Umm. Ok. Here goes," Obi-Wan seemed to have forgotten the joke.

"Oh Force. Here we go again!" Garen seemed to be remembering what had happened before his recent concussion.

"Shut-up! Ok. There was this viola player and a cellist, standing on a sinking ship. Right?"

"Yeah." This was said in unison by his companions. Or at least, as in unison as they could get while drunk.

"You guys, you shouldn't intereupt, it's rude." Siri and Garen rolled their eyes, and Obi-Wan continued. "The cellist goes, 'Help! I can't swim.'"

Garen suddenly interrupted him, "Yeah and the viola player goes, 'Don't worry, just fake it!'"

Obi-Wan looked at him, then punched him solidly in the gut. Of course every action has a reaction, the reaction in this case being that Garen emptied his stomach contents over Siri, who promptly gave him a second concussion.

She turned to Obi-Wan and snapped, "Help me carry him, OR ELSE!" Obi-Wan quickly obeyed.

As they were making their way to their quarters after such a big night, a master came towards them. Siri and Obi-Wan exchanged nervous glances. Padawans weren't meant to be out this late.

"Padawans," it was Mace Windu. "What are you doing out this late and in this state of non-sobriety?"

"Umm, well you see, Master Windu..." Obi-Wan's attempt at an explaination was cut short, however when a shout came form down the corridor, "Coming are you, Mace. Going we are to the Outlander. Hmm, yes!"

"Yeah Mace hurry up!" The first voice was Master Yoda, the second sounded distinctly like Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Coming!" Mace yelled back up the corridor. "You three had better go to bed, and mention none of this to anyone."

Siri and Obi-Wan exchanged a glance, "Yes, Master Windu."

With that Mace dissappeared up the corridor and the trio stumbled in the vague direction of their quarters.

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Thanks to i luv ewansmile for part of the idea. :)

Please review people, feedback is wecomed with open arms!

Come on

Please

come to the dark side,

press the purple button!


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, last update, I said that it would be the last, but I recieved a suggestion, to do an epilogue. Then my brother, who will be known as aston guy (who is not an author on this site), suggested that I do a couple of chapters of Mace, Yoda and Qui-Gon.

In other news, wondering about the lack of updates? Well I had to shoot my muse. It was annoying me cause it decided it needed an unending vacation! But I showed it! And I managed to write this anyway.

I don't own anything recognisable.

Enjoy!

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Lights flashed, along with girls, and the Jedi watched as the dancers twirled around and around and around and around and around and around ...

Mace and Qui-Gon were trying to out drink each other and Yoda was trying to get their attention so he could tell them a joke. Two whacks with his stick later and he had their undivided attention.

"I have a joke to tell you." Apparently, when drunk, trolls speak normally.

"Ok, what is it?" asked Mace.

"Brown and sticky, what is?" Or maybe they don't speak normally.

Mace and Qui-Gon looked at him in disgust. What they were thinking was quite plain on their faces.

"I don't know?" Qui-Gon asked, not really knowing if he wanted to know either.

"A stick."

The whole club seemed to fall silent at that.

"Laugh or whack you I will, with MY stick!"

The Outlander was consumed with uproarous laughter.

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I got that joke from hehe. Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Wow, it's been almost a month since I updated this story. Procrastination is my hobby! lol.

Thanks to my friend, Chaos (not a member) who helped me think of a joke! XD

Once again I don't own anything recognisable, though I am pretty sure that I'm allowed to use the English alphabet... I don't own that either.

MJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJ

When one has an enraged, drunk troll on ones hands, one would wonder what one were supposed to do. This is exactly what Qui-Gon Jinn was wondering as he watched people in pain. There were several options, but the only one he could think of, in his drunken state was to keep drinking, so he did.

Mace seemed to have opted for the same option, this being a logical conclusion to jump to anyway because he was a lot drunker than his counterpart. Suddenly, he turned to Qui-Gon and said, "Do ya wanna hear a joke?"

Qui-Gon almost groaned, Mace's jokes were terrible. "Go ahead," he replied in resignation.

"What do you call a... thing that is doing... something?" Mace asked thoughtfully.

"You mean a cow that is sleeping?"

"Yeah! Tha's it!"

Qui-Gon answered with a completely straight face, "A bulldozer."

Mace burst out into peels of laughter, while Qui-Gon sighed and went back to his drink. Yoda soon joined them as he had knocked out the bartender for patronising him and was content with the knowledge that no one else would make the same mistake.

Seeing Mace doubled over laughing however, Yoda asumed that Qui-Gon had made a joke and Mace was making a show. About five minutes later Mace hit the floor. Qui-Gon merely looked at Yoda, who said, "Patronise you, he should not."

Qui-Gon just smiled.

MJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJ

Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

Wow! An early update along with my other story! All thanks to Chaos! She made me stop reading and actually write. She's awesome!

Other than that, I don't own anything, cause really would I really do this type of thing to characters that I own... Well actually I would, but that's besides the point. XD

Enjoy!

MJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJ

Mace, amazingly enough, recovered and turned to Qui-Gon, who looked at him skeptically.

"So, Qui. D'ya have a joke f'r us?"

"Well, I have this one joke. It's kind of lame."

"Quit stalling, you will. Or I'll whack you with my gimer stick!" Qui-Gon blinked. Yoda's speech patterns were becoming quite erratic as the evening went on.

"Ok. What is long, yellow and fruity?"

There were a few minutes of silence until Yoda spoke. "Hmm. Crafty the person who invented this joke was."

Both Mace and Yoda looked expectantly at Qui-Gon, who said, "An apple in disguise!"

Yoda blinked. Mace thought about it.

"Funny that joke is not, Qui-Gon. It's stupid! Waste of time was the telling of such a joke!"

Qui-Gon groaned, and hoped that the evening would end soon.

MJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJMJ

Please review!


	8. Epilogue

Hello wonderful readers! Once again you have Chaos to thank for this!

I don't own anything that may be recognised by anyone!

* * *

Everything was black. He was floating on a river of pain.

Qui-Gon rolled over and opened his eyes, then promptly shut them again with a groan. He remained like this until late afternoon when the worst of his hangover had worn off.

He finally got up at the hour of 3pm, standard Coruscant time, and went to find Obi-Wan, surprised that the Padawan had not seen fit to wake him yet. This surprise was soon banished when he found Obi-Wan passed out in his own bed, still fully dressed.

Walking over to the sleeping form, Qui-Gon started to have vague recollections of the night before. Obi-Wan, Siri and Garen had been coming home, seemingly drunk, when he, Mace and Yoda had been leaving. The last thing he remembered was telling that stupid apple joke. He didn't even remember how they had gotten home.

Suddenly, he got an idea. It would be painful, but worth it. He quietly leant over Obi-Wan's sleeping form and shouted, "OBI-WAN! WAKE UP!"

Qui-Gon hadn't expected the hand that connected with his face.

* * *

A few hours later, after he had regained consciousness, Qui-Gon sat on the couch reading. He looked up as Obi-Wan walked in. "How are you?" he asked the dumbest question that he could think of at the time.

"Fine, Master," Obi-Wan replied, even though he didn't look fine. Silence fell over them until Obi-Wan said suddenly, "Master? Did you know that 5/3 people have trouble with fractions?"

Qui-Gon simply refused to dignify him with an answer.

* * *

The End!! XD

And this time it really is the end!!

lol! Please review and tell me what you think!!


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